HOW TO BE AN ADULT: A Handbook on Psychological and Spiritual Integration
by David Richo

This is the #1 book I recommend to clients looking to deepen their personal growth and healing. I personally re-read it almost every year and still get so much out of it. If you are serious about finding the kind of power, peace and freedom that is a result of taking responsibility for your life, this is your book. It’s slender but jam-packed with useful instructions on how to rise into your healthy maturity and upgrade your relationships out of codependency into interdependency. From the publisher: this book is “filled with checklists, diagrams, and literary quotations for meditation, making this a book to read and digest a little at a time for best results. How to Be an Adult will guide readers on their positive journey from fear, through power, to love.”

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LePera

With millions of followers and over 10,000 five-star reviews of this book, The Holistic Psychologist is popular for a good reason. She makes sense and helps break down complex psychological concepts to be easily digestible by the lay person. From the publisher:

“Dr. Nicole LePera offers both a manifesto for SelfHealing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Drawing on the latest research from a diversity of scientific fields and healing modalities, Dr. LePera helps us recognize how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell. 

In How to Do the Work, Dr. LePera offers readers the support and tools that will allow them to break free from destructive behaviors to reclaim and recreate their lives. Nothing short of a paradigm shift, this is a celebration of empowerment that will forever change the way we approach mental wellness and self-care.”

How to Meet Your Self: The Workbook for Self-Discovery by Nicole Lepera

“In her first book, How to Do the Work, Dr. Nicole offered readers a revolutionary, holistic framework for self-healing. Now, in How to Meet Your Self, she shares an interactive workbook designed to help every reader uncover their Authentic Self. By objectively and compassionately observing the physical, mental, and emotional patterns that fill our days and create our current selves, we can more clearly see what we do not wish to carry into the future.

We all fall into conditioned habits and patterns—products of our past—that lead to cycles of pain, stuckness, and self-destruction. But as Dr. Nicole shares, we also have the innate ability to awaken to and change the behaviors and habits that no longer serve us, allowing us to step into the highest versions of ourselves. And as you work through this book and witness these default habits, from sleep to movement to eating, through emotional reactivity and core beliefs, you will never again have to ask: “but where do I start?”"

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo

This invaluable book on healthy, conscious relationships is a close runner up to his original How To Be An Adult. Relationships are some of the richest places of growth, and they are often the source of a lot of conflict, hurt and confusion as well. This work by Richo is such an important handbook on how to level-up the ways we navigate our relationships. If you find yourself struggling in your relationship, or you want to avoid repeating destructive patterns in them, or you simply want to find ways to improve how you meet your partner, this is going to be extremely useful for you. Another top recommendation that I share with friends and clients alike to help them upgrade their relationships out of codependency into healthy, thriving interdependency.

The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love by Vienna PharAon

Understanding why we behave the way we do is the first step on the path of personal growth. Vienna helps us understand the 5 most common origin wounds that become the root of all of our unconscious, destructive, and limiting behaviors in a very accessible and engaging way. Want to better understand they “why’s” of your behavior in relationships and work toward transforming unhealthy patterns into healthier ones? This is an excellent place to start.

Coming Alive: 4 Tools to Defeat Your Inner Enemy, Ignite Creative Expression & Unleash Your Soul's Potential by Barry Michaels and Phil Stutz

I think everything Phil Stutz and Barry Michaels put out is high quality and hard-earned practical wisdom. Their books are helpful, which is what counts the most in my opinion. I also recommend his book The Tools and his new one, which I haven’t read yet - Coming Alive.

WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

At some point in her journey, every woman needs to take a long walk with this book. I’ve read different chapters at various stages of my life and it always has something new to offer me. I find so much resonance with the stories and archetypes shared in this collection of stories and they help me make sense of my journey and struggles. Curl up in bed on a rainy evening and let her tell you a story. You will undoubtedly relate to these universal myths and her poetic explanations of them and it will help you understand the arc of your life’s journey. My copy is completely worn, fully dogeared and with notes written on almost every page for a reason.

Becoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself by Sheleana Aiyana

The author of the viral relationship wisdom instagram page - Rising Woman, Sheleana shares the relationship wisdom and guidance she has been posting so successfully about for years. From the publisher:

“Romantic relationships can infuse our lives with the magic of intimacy and connection. But for many of us, that magic is fleeting—over and over, our relationships don't last, or if they do, they fail to make us happy. We find ourselves chasing unavailable love, sublimating our needs in service to others, or trying to save our partners from themselves, all the while abandoning the ones who need us most—ourselves.

If you find yourself struggling to let go after a relationship ends, or you keep hitting the same wall in dating and relationships with emotionally unavailable people, this is not a sign that you are broken. It is a sign that somewhere along the way, you learned to sacrifice yourself in order to be loved. In Becoming the One, spiritual leader and visionary founder of the Rising Woman community Sheleana Aiyana offers a roadmap for transforming your relationship patterns to end the cycle of self-abandonment and move into the light of self-discovery.”

Undefended Love by Jett Psaris & Marlena S Lyons

The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them by David Richo

There are certain facts of life that we cannot change—the unavoidable “givens” of human existence: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is a part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Richo shows us that by dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens, we can find liberation and discover the true richness that life has to offer.

As always, I appreciate Richo’s sober, compassionate and very practical approach to help us embrace the truths of living and loving.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by PEMA Chödrön

This book has been a balm for my aching heart in times of crisis and distress. Her calming tone has helped me pick myself up off the floor and sit with difficulty with more grace and surrender.

“How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? . . .Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy.”

Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power & Creativity of Your Dark Side by David Richo

This is an incredible book for a deep dive into shadow work. Richo makes these concepts accessible and includes lots of prompts, lists, and practical examples to help you understand the intricacies of shadow work. Shadow work is an essential part of the healing journey. If you struggle to wrap your mind around what shadow work is, this is a great place to start.

Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power; A Method for Getting What You Want by Getting Off on What You Don't Carolyn Elliott PhD

Well done, Carolyn Elliott! This is such a deliciously fun book to read. And by “fun” I mean an exhilarating journey into our shadow lands to excavate our exiled treasures #shadowwork. Elliott really challenged me in playful ways and inspired a whole new reframe around my repressed parts. I am experiencing deeper fulfillment in my life, a greater sense of power, and I feel more ease in accessing my pleasure because of this book. Dive in! if you dare…. Fair warning, this book is not for everyone!

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

It’s as good as everyone says it is! Better, even. I cried, I laughed, I felt seen and celebrated. It is good, good medicine. I would file this under the category of books that give you permission to be your wild, unreserved, courageous full Self, while making space for you to own and release the feelings you might struggle to name. “Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.

Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.”

Falling in Love with Where You Are: A Year of Prose and Poetry on Radically Opening Up to the Pain and Joy of Life by Jeff Foster

“As we open up to life and love and each other, as we awaken from our dream of separation, we encounter not just the bliss of existence, but its pain, too; not only life’s ecstasy, but also its agony. Healing doesn’t always feel good or comfortable or even “spiritual,” for we are inevitably forced to confront our shadows, fears, and deepest longings—those secret parts of ourselves that we have denied, repressed, or deemed “negative” and unworthy of our love. How can we find the calm in the midst of the storm? How can we rest, even as the ground falls? Falling in Love with Where You Are invites you to discover a deep YES to your life, no matter what you are going through; to see crisis as an opportunity to heal, pain as an intelligent messenger, and your imperfections as perfectly placed.” Jeff Foster is a top favorite these days and I always keep one of his books next to my bathtub to soak with.

CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words by DAVID WHYTE

This collection of prose is pure beauty. A perfect companion to keep on the nightstand or accompany you on a trip. I reach for it often to read one of his short essays on a topic that feels alive to me and it always helps me anchor into the beauty of this delicate and wild human journey. “Beginning with ALONE and closing with WORK, each chapter is a meditation on meaning and context, an invitation to shift and broaden our perspectives on the inevitable vicissitudes of life: pain and joy, honesty and anger, confession and vulnerability, the experience of feeling besieged and the desire to run away from it all. Through this lens, procrastination may be a necessary ripening; hiding an act of freedom; and shyness the appropriate confusion and helplessness that accompanies the first stage of revelation.”

Queen Owl Wings: A Collection of Poems by Jeannette Encinias

I am so in love with this book of poetry by Jeannette Encinias. It is rare that I can turn to any page and find something that immediately helps me transcend the mundane and tap into how gorgeous and precious this life is. It lives on my nightstand and is a reliable source of wisdom and beauty.

Prayers of Honoring Grief by Pixie Lighthorse

Is it possible for a book to save you from drowning? I think so. This book was one of the only things that helped keep my head above water during a very, very difficult time of grief and loss. Lighthorse has a way of transmitting the depth of grief, pain and suffering into words of solace and beauty. Each page is dedicated to a different flavor of grief. It has so much to offer.

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

When I couldn’t afford therapy, I turned to this book. When life gets hard flip through this book. When my friends are struggling and I want them to feel okay, I give them this book. When I want a bit of comfort or I need a reminder of the beauty that is embedded in the mundane, I pick up this book. Get yourself 2 copies, because you will inevitably want to give a copy away to someone you cherish.

The Way of Rest: Finding The Courage to Hold Everything in Love by Jeff Foster

Yes, another Jeff Foster book. I would suggest getting every single one of his books if I were you, they’re that good.